Friday, April 30, 2010

My Struggle to wear Hijaab

By an anonymous sister
As Salaam u Alaikum,

Thank you for a very inspiring website. This is definitely something that I needed to help me with my struggle or “Challenge” to start wearing the Purdah.

I still haven’t started, but I do intend on doing so soon…very soon.

I grew up in a very modernized and carefree environment. We were never ever pressurized to wear Purdah or even a scarf by our parents. I grew up as a tomboy, always in jeans, t-shirts and takkies (sneakers). I’m now married and a mother and still live in my Jeans and takkies.

Deep down in my heart and my mind I have always wanted to wear Purdah and always admired those that do wear it. But I never had anyone close around me who could have pushed me or encouraged me to do so. Also on the other hand, I would not have the support of my husband. He once told me that I shouldn’t wear Purdah.

Alhamdulillah, year before last year my husband and I were sponsored to go for Hajj. I kept on thinking, that this is it. This will definitely change us and our lifestyle and it will make it easier for my husband to accept me wearing Purdah; But when we came back from Hajj, it didn’t last long. Hence, I gave up on the idea of even wearing a scarf. It was our lifestyle that also came in the way.

A short while ago some of my family members started wearing the Purdah. I am so proud of them and also so inspired.

Lately, my husband has also calmed down a lot. We have both started reading our Salaat regularly and just want to do right. We have a child to raise and I would like to be the best parent I can by also leading by example. I have spoken to my husband and he told me that he would support me and make it easy for me to adopt the purdah.

Alhamdulillah !

But still, why are there still so many excuses or reasons that are popping up that’s delaying the process ? First it was the fact that I work in a Corporate industry, whereby we wear a uniform. We have 5 males in our huge office and I don’t think that they will allow the purdah at work. Then it was a close family members wedding and now another wedding soon. And it’s always “after this” and “after that” and I will wait for the weddings to be over or some excuse like what will my friends and family think. Will they think that I’m being hypocritical or too drastic with the change? It will be a drastic change. I mean from being one who wears tights and jeans and t-shirts and 3 quarter pants to suddenly start wearing Abaaya’s and a Purdah also.

Shaytaan is really making this hard for me and I am struggling to go on with pursuing wearing THE HIJAAB.

I just need some motivation. I need Allah to make this easy for me.

We pray that Allah (SWT) makes it easy for this sister on her path towards wearing the hijab, may Allah save her from the whisperings of shaytaan, may He guide her and give her the motivation and strength to continue and act upon her intention and may he, the Almighty, All Merciful allow her to be a positive example to those around her. 

Insha'Allah Ameen!

May Allah guide every single one of us in our journey's towards Him. Through struggle and challenges do we reach enlightenment! And Allah knows best!


  1. Dear sister, you are already on your path to hijab. May Allah give you, (and all of us too)strength and guidance. Insha-Allah Ameen

  2. Alhamdulillah, this is the second week going that I am wearing Hijab and it feels so good...

  3. Annonymous sister. i am experiencing the difficulty with my husband as i long to wear pardah.he cliams he is not ready for me to be in pardah as it will affect him. My heart is sore as i really want to go into pardah. alhamdullilah i wear cloak and scarf but that too he is not too happy with and asks me to dress up. we have lead a very modern life buit shukr Allah has shoen me my mistakes and i have inshallah gained hidaayat. May Allah make it easy on all of us and inshallah grant the entire ummat hidaayat. ameen.

  4. Assalamu'alaykum.
    I wanna share this story on my blog. :)

  5. Salam. I'm a 16 yr old who is now wearing the hijab. I always had excuses like "oh what about my graduation party, i want to do my hair!" and "i want to do my hair on my wedding day tho!" "what about eid?!?!" "but theres a party i want to go to" and honestly, if you keep thinking that way, you are not going anywhere. its all shaytaan talking to you. he wants you to think that way! plus on the day of judgement that stupid graduation party will not matter at all. if Allah is going to ask u "why didnt you wear the hijab?" what are you gonna say? "oh i wanted to do my hair on my graduation and wedding day" just remember that we have to submit to Allah. He is Most Powerful and Most Wise. He told us to wear the hijab for a purpose and it is our job to follow it.

  6. alhamduliallah i have the same issue i want to start wearing hijab but my husband drinks alcohol publicly am i feel embarassed to start