How I was led towards Allah (SWT)

By Khashiefa Martin (imasa.johannesburg@gmail.com)

1stly, I would like to take this opportunity to commend any fellow Muslimah who has accepted this challenge. You might be thinking why “challenge’ would be my choice of words…I’m sure that my Muslim sisters will agree that wearing hijaab is one of the hardest, obligatory actions a women has to implement.

It is for this very reason that I choose to tell my story – not specifically to portray the beauty and serenity only, but also the strength and sincerity one gains when practicing it.

My hope is that those sisters, who are still considering it, will realize that they are not alone in this confusing time and it is achievable. If the intention is correct, the end results will be exactly what you were hoping for.

My journey started at the age of 16 – to many teenagers, this would be considered the best and most fun years of your life and honestly, that was my exact thoughts at the time.

I was constantly tempted with friends, good times, socializing etc

Shukr to Allah (SWT) who has chosen me from so many other teenagers and guided me towards HIM. I have to admit I fought it at first and like one would say – played a bit hard to get, but when Hidaayah [guidance] came, it was too overwhelming and powerful for me to resist. I then realized that I could either let it pass with a huge possibility of it not coming my way again or I could grab it, hold on to it with dear life and run!!!!!

At this crucial time in my life, it was clear-cut – either I continue living a life of a Muslim only by name or I can make a sincere effort towards behaving and portraying what a true Muslim should be. To many, especially my family who had for years been blinded by the western lifestyle, my actions were EXTREME and some would even say an innovation [niqaab – face veil], but to me – it was clarity and peace of mind. Suggestions were given that I should introduce it gradually, but I think it was more a case of my actions being an outright da’wah to them and they were not ready to deal with it. If only they knew how selfish I was because at that time, I was only looking out for MYSELF 

My so-called normal life had changed over night – my dress code was the very reason I lost many friends, family ties were broken and many sacrifices were made. Who says the love for Allah (SWT) is cheap? Not a chance!!!!!!! A huge price has to be paid but with it comes so many benefits - a closeness between you and your MOST beloved, a determination to face life’s challenges, a beautiful and unique identity and last but not least, a model to those women who feel the need to display that which Allah (SWT) has granted them. The very adornments one has to treasure especially for him – no…not Allah (SWT) but the one who will be worthy of laying his eyes on you and who will see you for the jewel you really are.

Even though, I’m still ridiculed at times, debated with and constantly trying to fit into society because I feel abnormal at times [note to remember - I am human and do have desires, I constantly have to fight]. I have come to realize that I am actually the normal one in the eyes of Allah (SWT) and I am satisfied with the thoughts that even though I am not a perfect Muslim and I too sin, my small efforts and sacrifices will NOT go in vain Inshaa-allah.

People always ask me - are you happy? Do you not feel uncomfortable? Are you not getting hot? How can you enjoy yourself? Should beauty not be adored & sometimes –they even ask - do you wear like this in your house the whole day? 

My answer stays the same – I am contented and I am at peace. I do not need the so-called pleasures of the dunyaa to be happy because I am fortunate to know that there is deeper meaning to the word “ happiness”. There are so many ways for me to enjoy life as long as it is in the boundaries of shariah. This is my everyday struggle, but I know that Allah (SWT) has my back on that one 

I can but only make dua that Allah (SWT) will keep on looking in my direction, will recognize the sound of my voice, will be merciful on me and accept my little efforts for His pleasure only – Inshaa-allah - AAMEEN